


Don't Do Drugs! Eat Your Teeth

by Japo_Chan23



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Different Personalities, Game Grumps - Freeform, God this is just ajlkdhfadksf, How am i supposed to tag this aljsdhfasf, Minor Character Death, Unironic beatboxing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:53:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26079040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Japo_Chan23/pseuds/Japo_Chan23
Summary: Four blinked at Twilight for a moment, his bowl resting in his lap forgotten, brow furrowed as he just stared at the Ordonian. “Did you- did you get dropped as a baby?”“I think just dropped in general,” Warriors murmured to Four as he watched Twilight slurp the rest of his soup down.
Comments: 18
Kudos: 132





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm telling you man, the government's lyin to us, the world is actually flat, I'm deadass-

Warriors and Four, were, to say the least… not stoked about this adventure. Whatsoever. 

Four was at least glad that when they figured out their timeline, he came second. So he could only be disappointed in Sky for being like that. Warriors, on the other hand, just had to be disappointed in everyone else besides Wild, because they came  _ before  _ him, and those are his  _ ancestors _ for fucks sake. Or one of them was, anyways, they never figured out where he fit in their fucked up timeline, especially since everything got merged together. 

So he elected to be disappointed of everyone there. Besides Four and Wild, at least. 

But who was he kidding. Wild was fucking crazy just like the rest of them. 

“I’m just  _ sayin’ _ ,” Twilight pointed his spoon at Four, soup falling to the ground. Four frowned. “There’s no way you could actually  _ prove _ that the world isn’t flat. Like, you could do an experiment that would  _ prove  _ that the world was round, but the government bends the light in a certain way to make you think that it isn’t flat.”

Four blinked at Twilight for a moment, his bowl resting in his lap forgotten, brow furrowed as he just  _ stared _ at the Ordonian. “Did you- did you get dropped as a baby?”   
  
“I think just dropped in general,” Warriors murmured to Four as he watched Twilight slurp the rest of his soup down. Four immediately turned away while Warriors covered his mouth, holding back a gag, when they watched as Twilight looked around the log he was sitting on, before he grabbed an ant, and shoved it in his mouth. 

Four grimaced. “Definitely dropped.”

* * *

When they ended up warping once more, Four couldn’t help but notice that Twilight would always covered his ears. A strange habit, and one that he would definitely question. 

So when they figured out which Hyrule they were in, Twilight had immediately started off to Ordon, saying something about “introducing them to everyone”, which everyone was just… okay with. 

Besides Four and Warriors. They just wanted to go home. 

They all ended up doing mundane tasks. Warriors got stuck with Wind (the one person he could tolerate the most besides Four) fishing, Time and Hyrule were… somewhere, Legend and Sky were doing something with larvae. Four isn’t sure where Wild is. And he was with Twilight, herding goats. 

“You’re pretty good at this,” Four commented with a tilt of his head when Twilight went up next to him, not bothering to jump off of Epona.

“Yeah, used to do it all the time as a kid,” Twilight said. He wiped the sweat off of his brow as he patted Epona, before getting off, continuing to brush his fingers through her mane. 

Four hummed. “Did you like doing it as a kid?” He uncrossed his arms, going to pet Epona as well. “Good girl,” he said quietly, and Epona neighed. Four smiled. 

Twilight scrunched his face up. “Fucking- yeah, of course I did, I was a kid.”

“Oh. So what about now?”   
  
“ _ I hate this _ .”

* * *

“By the way, I forgot to ask you, why do you cover your ears when we warp?”   
  
“My old companion would scream in my ears everytime we warped.”

Four thinned his lips. “You had a companion?”   
  
“Yeah, I had a crush on her, but she kinda reminded me of a hamster.”

Four squinted his eyes at Twilight, his lips parted as he just stared at the man. “A… hamster,” he said underneath his brow as he followed Twilight back into town. “A fucking  _ hamster _ .”

* * *

Warriors wasn’t too happy about how the day went. Granted, it was peaceful, but it was so boring. He was always spontaneous, and very impulsive. 

All of Ordon was the complete opposite of that. Routines seemed to be the most important thing in this village, and man did it piss Warriors off sometimes. Made him glad that it was the Twilight realm that got merged with his world (according to Lana), instead of… old huckleberry finn’s hometown.

“Twi, how do you  _ live like this,” _ Warriors groaned, pressing his hands against his eyes. He swiped his hands down his face as he gazed up at the sky with a loud, exaggerated sigh.

“Dude, I hate this as much as you do, believe me,” Twilight scoffed, handing Warriors a stick. For some odd reason. “I mean, It’s home, but the routine of this place makes me wish Ganondorf killed me.”

Warriors stared at Twilight for a moment, before he punched him in the shoulder. “You’re an idiot, and I’m done talking to you.”   
  
“Come on, you know I’m right!”

* * *

Four saw Twilight walk out to the spring that was just outside Ordon one day, and decided to follow. 

There was a small grave that he went to, placing a small bundle of flowers next to some candles. The gravestone has the name  _ Colin _ inscribed onto it in cursive letters, with the day of his birth and the day of his death also inscribed on it.  _ As courageous and wonderful as the setting sun and the hero of our time _ , was written on it as well. 

Just a kid. 

“I’m sorry for you loss,” Four mumbled, placing his hand on Twilight’s shoulder. 

Twilight sniffled as he rubbed his eyes. “He was just a kid. Rusl and Uli’s kid, actually. They’re never gonna recover.”

“Losing a child is the worst kind of feeling,” Four said quietly, squeezing Twilight’s shoulder. “He’s in a better place now, at least.”

Twilight nodded as he sniffled once more. “He died of the bubonic plague.”

Four didn’t bother to ask Twilight how an extinct disease from his time came back. 

* * *

They ended up in another Hyrule a couple days later, and no one had recognized where exactly they were. 

So of course Twilight decided to lead the way, despite all of them saying  _ “No Twi, you’re gonna get us lost _ ,” to which he responded with some curse words and middle finger. 

And, just like they all said, he got them lost. With his horrible sense of direction.

Warriors wasn’t even sure how Twilight even finished his adventure with how lost he got. Twilight was worse than  _ Linkle _ and that was saying something. Girl accidentally wandered into the Twilight Realm one day when all ways to it were gone. 

“Maybe if Hillia wasn’t so rude to us, we wouldn’t be in this mess,” Twilight grumbling, kicking at the sand underneath his feet. 

Warriors didn’t know how they got here. They were literally just on top of a mountain a few minutes ago. “We told you not to lead- wait what did you just say?” Warriors snapped his head in Twilight’s direction, and the farmhand frowned. 

“We wouldn’t be in this mess?” He repeated, raising a brow up.   
  
“No, before that.”   
  
“Maybe if Hillia-”   
  
“ _ Yes _ , that!” Warriors said, snapping. He pointed at Twilight, and the Ordonian paused in his step, his brow furrowing. “You know you’re pronouncing it wrong, right?”

“Hillia?”

“Yeah, it’s Hylia.”

“No it isn’t.”

“Twilight _ ,  _ I swear- _ ” _

* * *

Four always thought that Twilight would’ve been a good marksman. 

When they decided to have a contest on who could hit the most cans, Twilight missed. So bad. He ended up angering a bunch of wasps. 

_ ‘Note to self _ ,’ Four though, looking at his swollen hand.  _ ‘Don’t let Twilight anywhere near arrows.’ _

* * *

Warriors couldn’t remember the last time he had ever been so frustrated before in his life. 

“It’s a fucking block puzzle!” Warriors shouted, pushing the block across the floor, watching as it slid over the ice. He gestured wildly to where Twilight was standing by a chunk of ice, empty bottle in hand. “You don’t need to use  _ soup _ to solve the puzzle! You just wasted perfectly good soup by dumping it on the ice!” 

Twilight shrugged. “We can get more later, it’s not the end of the world,” Twilight said, waving Warriors off as he marched over to the block, pushing it just like Warriors had just did. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sometimes you just gotta be prepared for the time your friends betray you which means getting buff as fuck

Warriors and Four were still not looking forward to the adventure that they were forced to go on with other versions of themselves. 

"Time seems to be in a good mood today," Four whispered to Warriors as they watched the old man carry his bowl of soup back to his seat on a log by Twilight. The two watched, eyes widening, when they noticed the hero trip over a rock, his bowl dropping to the ground, soup decorating the grass.

Warriors watched, mouth agape, as Time covered his face with both of his hands, before pushing his hair back. "I. WANT.  _ MURDER _ -"

"I take what I said back," Four sighed, shaking his head, and Warriors chuckled by his side. 

* * *

Warriors wanted to cry when he witnessed Time find a stray fairy in the bushes and proceed to just squish it with his foot instead of asking it to heal their  very mild wounds. 

"They're abundant," he said, eyes narrowed. "And very annoying."

"But  _ Time _ , they're  _ fairies _ -"

"Me too bitch, they're not special."

* * *

"So," Wind said one day at the campfire after he finished his meal. "What's the weirdest thing that's ever happened to you guys?"

"My father-in-law's friend had a horse-"

Legend scoffed. "Sounds pretty fucking normal, old man."

"That exploded."

Four placed his face in hands, groaning loudly as he stomped his feet slightly. "Why can't you guys just have  _ normal _ stories like getting chased by giant octoroks?" He complained to the palm of his hands. 

Warriors patted his back gently as he nodded in agreement.

* * *

They were in the middle of a bokoblin attack and everyone was handling themselves well. 

It was going well, anyways, until Warriors noticed a bokoblin sneaking up on time through the bushes, so he quickly rushed over, slashing at the bokoblin until it fell into a pile of dark goop. Or whatever it was that they turned into when they died. 

He panted heavily, and nearly screamed when he felt something grab his shoulder, and he nearly stabbed Time because the old man decided that scaring him like that was just a good idea. "Uh, you're welcome?" Warriors furrowed his brow as he looked around awkwardly. 

Time smiled as he squeezed Warriors' shoulder. "I treasure our mediocre friendship." He patted Warriors' shoulder, before he walked back to camp, sheathing his sword quickly, leaving Warriors in between a few trees.

"What the fuck was that?" Warriors said out loud as he followed Time back to camp. 

* * *

"Hey Time, what's the worst enemy that you've fought?" Four asked one day, moving to sit by the old man. 

The old man looked up for a moment, before he nodded. "There was man made of birds that prevented me from making progress on my second adventure in another land. It was too difficult so I abandoned them." Time nodded wistfully as he looked at his hands for a moment, brow furrowing. 

"You... you abandoned an adventure?"

"Yeah, it was too hard. Plus I hated it and it was ugly as shit."

"Oh my Hylia-"

* * *

"Hey Time?"

"Yes Wars?"

"What're you wearing?"

"Oh, these are my hover boots."

" _ Why _ are you wearing them?"

"I like sliding."

* * *

The day was going so peacefully, so nicely. Warriors and Four were reveling in the silence, and were so glad for it, at least until Wind decided to break it. 

"Hey, old man!" Wind shouted, pointing at Time. "How'd you get so beefed up?"

"I wanted to be strong so that I could beat up my friends if I had to," Time said as he polished his sword, hand gliding over his blade with practiced ease. "Depending on when they betray me."

Four frowned. "When? Not if?"

Time narrowed his eyes. "Yes. When."

* * *

Only a day had passed since that conversation, and nothing eventful happened. 

Thank Hylia. 

"Oh, Time?" Wild turned to Time, holding his biggoron sword. Wild was standing next to a rock, a pile of broken weapons surrounded him. "Do you mind if I-"

"Is this the betrayal?" Time said, eyes wide as he stared at Wild. 

"Wait? No, Time, I just want to use your sword-"

* * *

"So, is there a reason why you don't use a shield?" Warriors asked one day as they began travelling. 

Time hummed. "Yes, I don't know how to use a shield."

"You..." Warriors trailed off as he stared at nothing, eyes darting around as he tried to solve the question that Time just answered. "You don't  _ know _ how to use a shield?"

The old man huffed, looking away. "Okay, yeah, I don't, but fuck me, right, I'm an idiot-"

"You don't know how to use a shield!" Warriors shouted, gesturing wildly. 

"Everything is falling apart and it is  _ your _ fault, you cardboard bitch-"

"What does the  _ mean????? _ "

* * *

Four was just trying to get Time's attention.

It wasn't his fault that he had quiet footsteps, so of course he felt bad when he accidentally startled Time. 

"You almost gave me a hearty!" Time shouted, hand against his chest. "I could've  _ died _ ."

Four frowned. "I almost gave you a what?"

"A hearty," Time repeated, dropping his hand. "Like a heart attack."

"No one calls that a hearty, old man."

"Yeah, but I do."

"You shouldn't."

* * *

They were by the fire and Warriors was almost asleep when Time started beatboxing. 

"It has been zero days since Time has beatboxed," Wind shouted from where he was laying down by Warriors and Four. Everyone groaned at the comment. 

"You don't have an actual thing saying that, do you?" Time asked, sitting up from his makeshift bed of blankets. 

"Yes, we do," everyone said in unison, and Time laid back down, crossing his arms. 

"You're just mad you can't beatbox," he grumbled, turning onto his side, facing away from everyone. 

* * *

Warriors and Time were separated from everyone and in a dudgeon. Great. Awesome. 

Apparently Time didn't have a sense of direction and got lost easily like Twilight. But he wasn't  _ as _ bad as Twilight, thankfully. Otherwise Warriors would've cried to Hylia a long time ago about making him 

Time started humming as he started shimmying around the empty room, before he picked up a pot and threw it at a wall. "I got, I got two keys and a whole buncha bullshit," he sang underneath his breath as he grabbed the rupees that came out of the shattered remains of the pot. 

"Did you just fucking  _ sing _ ?"

"What is  _ with _ you people and  _ betraying _ me!" 

* * *

When they had made it out of the dudgeon and made it back to camp, Warriors immediately went to Four's side, 

Four didn't even look up. "Better or worse than Twi?"

"I don't even know anymore, dude."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> update was supposed to happen yesterday, but it's happening today (thurs) because i had some family issues that came up :/ it's okay now ig, idk. also just some general people issues but it's whatever, im okay now. just kinda sad and needed some time to wind down and relax, so i just stayed away from posting.
> 
> ill post the next chapter of teardrops today, and i will be posting chapter 3 tomorrow still. schedules hasn't changed, i was just tired. updating everyday sucks lmao


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> guys can we stop i have asthma, guys im not playing seriously can we take a break-

“ _ Holy shit _ did you just see that?”

Four glanced up, pausing, his hand halting from where he laid over the four sword, which he was currently cleaning. “See what?”

Warriors placed his hands on the sides of Four’s head, turning it not-too gently towards Sky’s direction. 

The hero was playing with his slingshot, and he was currently toying with the rubber band that was wrapped around the wood. He had a pouch of deku nuts hanging off of his belt, and a target was hanging from the tree. 

Four frowned. “What about it?” He huffed, though he kept his eyes trained on the blonde. “He’s just practicing.”

“No no no,” Warriors quickly hushed Four as he pointed his finger a little ways away from the target. It took Four a moment to see where Warriors was pointing, but quickly saw the dragonfly that was zipping around in the air mindlessly, with no destination in mind. 

Four’s eyes dart over to Sky, and he watches as the man pulls a deku nut out, and begins to take aim. “Wait is he-” before he could finish his sentence, he watches as Sky takes aim at the firefly, and lets the deku nut soar throughout the air.

Four watches with wide eyes as the dragonfly flutters to the ground, and his opens slightly. “How did he do that?” He whisper-yelled, pointing to where the dragonfly fell.

“How am  _ I _ supposed to know that, short ass?” Warriors slapped Four on the back of the head, causing the older hero to grip the back of his head for a moment.

* * *

“Guys can we stop again?”

Time frowned, and Twilight sighed. “We  _ just _ stopped like half an hour ago,” Twilight said, not stopping in his tracks. Four and Warriors exchanged glances from where they were walking in the back of the group, just behind Sky.

Sky groans, and his breathing was heavy. “I have  _ asthma _ , I can’t fucking  _ breathe. _ ”

“Make the rancher carry you,” Legend suggested, and Wind laughed loudly at the idea.

“As if!” Sky huffed, turning away. “Besides it’s not like I have that great of stamina to begin with.”

Warriors furrowed his brow. “Weren’t you training to be a knight before your adventure?”

“Yes? Why?”

“And they just  _ let you _ even though you had asthma?”

“Well, we all had asthma-”

“Oh my fucking Hylia.”

* * *

When nightfall came, they set up camp. Warriors and Four remained close to each other, of course. Warriors was reading a romance novel he stole from Lana, and Four was just… watching Sky. 

“What’s up little man?” Warriors asked as he turned a page, and Four sat up, eyes still trained on Sky.

“Do you think Sky is dyslexic?” Four asked, stroking his chin.

Warriors furrowed his brow as he lowered his book just so he could just  _ look _ at Four. “What makes you say that?”

“He can’t say Farore or Lanaryu right and they’re literally the golden goddess’, Wars,” Four explained quietly, lowering his hand. He turned his head to look at Wars as he bit his lip. “I think I even heard him call the bazaar a bazer.”

“I don’t think that means he’s dyslexic, but I see where you’re coming from,” Warriors grumbled. He closed his book after dog tagging his page, and glanced over at Sky, watching as the man rubbed at his cheek while walking to his spot.

“Fucking  _ tit _ !” Sky cursed loudly after tripping over his own two feet, nearly falling onto his face and eating the dirt.

Warriors and Four paused for a moment. “Did- did he just-”

“Who says ‘fucking tit’?” Warriors grumbled.

* * *

“Oh jeepers creepers Catherine, there’s a bokoblin camp down there.”

Four furrowed his brow. “Who’s Catherine?”

Sky waved him off as he peaked over a bush, studying the bokoblin. One of them walked over to where their weapons laid against a log, bending over to pick it up.

“Oh,” Sky mumbled, not looking away. “I never realized bokoblin’s had buttcracks.”

“Now really isn’t that time for observations like that Sky,” Four whispers, watching as that bokoblin picks up a bow and arrow before climbing up their watchtower. “What’s the plan?”

Sky rummaged through his bag for a moment, before he pulled out his slingshot and deku nuts. “It’s nut stunnin’ time,” he whispers, starting to climb the tree to get on higher ground.

Four sighs, but followed suit.

And when Warriors gives him a questioning look later on when they come back with his shirt singed and no deku nuts  _ or  _ arrows left, he doesn’t tell the captain shit.

* * *

“Hey Toilet get over here for a second.”

“For the last time it’s  _ Twilight _ -”

Sky waved him off. “Whatever Toilet, just get over here.”

* * *

“Dude I just heard Sky say ‘what the flump’ earlier.”

“... what does that even mean? Flump.”

“How many times do I have to say ‘how am I supposed to know’ for you to understand that I don’t know anything?”

* * *

“Remember how Time said he didn’t know how to use a shield?” Warriors said, watching as Sky sparred with Legend. 

Four hummed, nodding slightly, not taking his eyes off of the match in front of them. Free entertainment, after all. “What about it?”

“You think that we should get Sky to teach Time how to use a shield? Since he like,  _ actually _ knows how to use one,” Warriors explained, pointing at Sky just as he blocked a certain attacked from Legend. 

Four rubbed his chin. “Maybe, but I doubt Time would want to be taught anything at this point in his life. He’s a stubborn old man like that, you know?”

“Ugh, don’t remind me.”

* * *

“Hey...Sky, have you considered using arrows instead of deku nuts when trying to attack bokoblin camps from a distance?”

“Have you considered mind your business?”

“Point taken.”

* * *

“So uh, what you doing there Sky?”

Sky glances up at Warriors, his lips pulling down into a frown. “Reading,” he mumbles, and Warriors watches as Sky copies the words from the book he was holding that he got from Time’s Hyrule into his own, blank book.

“Sky are you fucking  _ copying  _ a story?”

“......no.”

“Son of a-”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this got shortened. it was gonna be 7 chapters, but now it's 6 because i combined the chapters for Hyrule and Wild since there wouldn't be much content for either so I decided to put the two together so it could actually reach 1k words. sorry wild and hyrule stans lol
> 
> also sorry for missing the friday update, it was my sisters birthday. 
> 
> also school starts tomorrow someone please save me akjsdhfkahsf at least i graduate this year so


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> okay i may have gotten a concussion and forgot about a baby in the woods

“Soooo, Legend-”

“What do you want Wars?” 

“What was your first adventure like? You went on like, seven, right?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Geez, alright, touchy subject. Youch.”

* * *

“I just don’t understand how you don’t like cuccoos,” Sky said one day, hand on his hips. They were residing at Malon and Time’s farm once again, and Sky was also, once again, more than happy to play around with the cuccoos and do whatever chores that Malon had to do with them. 

Legend huffed as he crossed his arms. “When I was a kid my uncle thought it would be funny if he told me I could kill a cuccoo.”

Sky furrowed his brow, and Four winced externally. “Did you figure out what happens before you get the chanced?”

Legend rolled his sleeves up, revealing tiny scars the littered his arms all over in a messy pattern. “I ran. For  _ hours _ , but they were  _ everywhere _ , it was the fucking chicken apocalypse, I’m telling you!”

* * *

Warriors never really understood why Legend kept trying to learn how to cook. It never turned out well, and Four always told Warriors how, at one point, his cooking lessons just turned into him asking Wild for lunch. 

“Can you like, put fish in it?” Legend asks, pointing at the wok that Wild was currently using. Legend was leaning over Wild’s shoulder, his hand over his chin.

Wild sighed. “There’s already beef in this,  _ why _ would you want fish in it as well? That’s gross,” Wild grumbled, but he already started looking through his sheikah slate where he just had  _ everything  _ stored, cause he was just That Lucky.

“Don’t fucking  _ judge _ me,” Legend shouted, crossing his arms. “Look, I just want lunch!” He waved his arms in large motions in front of the wok where the beef was sizzling, and Wild just looked up at him, his eyebrow raised, expression unimpressed. 

Wild rubbed his forehead as he made a salmon appear. “Looks like  _ someone _ has a big ol’ case of the ‘fuck yous’,” he grunted, and he held the salmon in his non-dominant hand, his sheikah slate still held in his other hand. “You’re sure you want this?”

“Fuck, yeah, dude, if I didn’t want it I wouldn’t have asked.”

“Hylia, I was just checking, damn.”

* * *

Legend was trying to find… something. Four wasn’t sure  _ what _ exactly, because he wouldn’t tell anyone what it was. Something something pearl or whatever. 

He started looking for it before Wild started making dinner, and the sun already went down and shifts started. Four was on first shift and Legend should be fucking  _ sleeping _ but he  _ wasn’t _ because he was a  _ fool _ .

Four looks to Legend, the veteran throwing things to the side and mumbling to himself while simultaneously pulling at his hair.

“Uhm, you good there Legend?” Four said quietly, and Legend glances over to Four, before he shook his head solemnly, and returned back to looking for his whatever pearl. Four sucked in a breath through his teeth. “Okaaaay, well, you can find it Legend, I believe in you.”

“That’s not enough,” Legend sighed, and Four could practically  _ hear _ him rolling his eyes. 

Four thinned his lips. “Rightttt.”

* * *

Warriors could not fucking  _ sleep _ because Legend wouldn’t stop rambling about the one time he tried to find some island that he had a dream about one time. “Dude, go to  _ bed _ .”

“Shut the fuck up I’m trying to have a heart to heart with you!”

“I’m trying to  _ sleep _ -”

Warriors groaned, and pressed his hands tightly against his ears, before he ket his arms relax and fall to the sides of his head. “Okay, fine, what about this stupid dream island?”

“No, fuck you, you didn’t even wanna listen to me,” Legend grunted, and he slapped his hand on top of Warriors’ face.

“Stupid son of a, are you  _ serious _ ?” Warriors waited a response as she slapped Legend’s hand away, and his brow furrowed when he didn’t receive a response.

Sitting up, he glanced at Legend. “Of course.” He rubbed his eyes as he laid back down. Of course Legend fell asleep just immediately, the lucky bastard. 

* * *

“Hey Legend, didn’t you say you found a baby one time?” Four asked one day while they were walking in Legend’s Hyrule. They were going towards the hoarder’s home because he wanted to swap out some items. Bitch carries too much stuff anyways.

Legend looks up at the sky, stroking his chin. “Uh, maybe?” He whispered to himself, before he started to scratch the side of his head, looking down at the ground confusedly. “Did I actually find a baby or was it a funny looking bush?”

Four and Warriors exchanged looks, both of them hoping that Legend actually only found a bush. Warriors shrugged at Four, who just huffed, cursing underneath his breath. “Hey, Leg,” Warriors started, tapping Legend’s shoulder, just to get his attention. Legend looked up, and raised a curious eyebrow, waiting for Warriors’ response. “Do you uh, do you have memory issues?”

“Oh, yeah, maybe,” Legend said, shrugging while doing so. “I fell down. A lot. And hit my head a fuckton more, plus I just forget a lot of small details, it doesn’t matter,” Legend explained flippantly, making random hand gestures.

Wild turned his head curiously, obviously eavesdropping on the conversation, and Four made a quick zipping motion over his mouth, before flicking his fingers at Wild.

The champion furrowed his brow, before realization struck his face, and he gave Four the ‘okay’ symbol. 

“Wait- so you just….  _ Forgot _ about a baby?” Four said after returning his attention back to Legend. He knew Wild would’ve wanted to talk to Legend about their shared ‘oh shit we have memory issues’ club, but that could be saved for  _ later _ .

Legend nodded. “Yeah, if you mean that I just forgot about the whole baby or bush thing.”

“I think shorty means did you just leave the baby somewhere and forget about it?” Warriors explained, voice become a pitch higher than normal towards the end of his sentence. Four glared at Warriors, and Warriors just grinned widely.

“Oh, that’s what you meant?” Legend scoffed, before he laughed loudly. Legend and Warriors exchanged glances (which they would never admit that that seems to be all that they  _ do _ ), before Legend stopped chuckling. “Should’ve just asked that shit to begin with. I left it in the woods-”

“YOU  _ WHAT-” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay okay okay so i know i said "m/w/f" but ive been busy with tevoabv (new fic uwu please go check it out), but also you must be thinking, "hey, japo, didn't this use to be 7 chapters? why is it 5 now?" and ill tell u why it's because im fucking tired and this fic drains me a lot more than the angst fic did and i also dont have enough notes for wild, hyrule, and wind to make a whole chapter just about one of them so all three of them get to share chapter 5 because i said so and im TIRED OF THIS

**Author's Note:**

> basically: Game Grumps AU where the personalities they gave the links in their own game is their actual personality. have this monstrosity, and there's more to come lmao
> 
> updates m/w/f probably, depends on how close i am to finishing this


End file.
